Spring thoughts

"Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD." Psalm 27:14

Sometimes I feel happy. Sometimes I feel content and satisfied. Sometimes I feel worried and anxious. But what I am coming to realize--and trying to make myself remember--is that no problem is bigger than my God and Father. And that the same God who made the heavens and the earth has promised to take care of me--to provide my every need, to satisfy me with every good thing, and to bless me more than I could ever imagine. Sometimes--often--I feel that I don't deserve that. But the truth is that because of what Christ accomplished on my behalf, it doesn't really matter what I do or don't deserve: God simply loves me.

And it is simple, isn't it? So I just have to believe it. And I do. And I will.

I went for a run (or "run" which really included quite a bit of walking) today and, as usual, was struck by the beauty around me. There are so many wildflowers! I wish I knew their names. There was a multitude of gorgeous, velvety purple violets, as well as some white violets, which I have never seen before this spring. Earlier I saw a lot of blue-eyed grass but now am seeing another pale purple wildflower that grows close to the ground, but I don't know its name.

I walked through Adam's Park again, and the magnolia trees have dropped pale drifts of petals on the ground like fragrant heaps of snow. Some school children on break were scooping the petals in piles and playing in them.

Often I hear people say, "I can't wait to get out of this town." They want to start something new, do something big, start something exciting. I fear I am all too unambitious. If I never went back to college--although, of course, I am--I think I would be quite happy working little bits at jobs, playing at keeping house, being caught up in little home affairs, reading lovely books, and building pretty little castles in the air. But, unfortunately, that is not to be, quite yet. First I must get a degree in order to make money, which one must have in order to live a nice sort of life. But after I get that degree, I want to settle. I want to write, and to putter, and to bake. To paint the house, perhaps, if I am feeling adventurous.

Perhaps it's just the day. Perhaps it's a passing feeling of stupor brought on by the heat. But really, I feel delightfully dull most of the time and am quite happy with it. The inside of my brain is, I think, quite interesting and exciting enough, and I do not know if having an exciting outside-of-me life would really add to my enjoyment. I would rather semi-seclude myself in a nice little house in a pretty town with a lovely garden, and a few good friends. That sounds heavenly.